"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
