Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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