i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
