i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize