hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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