THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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