Soap is not a condiment
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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