fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize