I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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