It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
