This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
