Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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