oh god the rape fog is back!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
