yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
