1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
