I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
tell me about the fingering
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