omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
