Got a toothbrush?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
