shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize