maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
