put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
