No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
