trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
