You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
