what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
