the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
