i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
