why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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