I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
