You work out of a Hotel?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
