they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
