An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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