She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
