The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
