4 words: hood of his car
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
