it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
