well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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