Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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