I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
