I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
