you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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