i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
