He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What a dumb baby whore.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
