I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize