This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
