Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
