5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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