And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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