Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
