HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
