This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
