Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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