you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
