First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
