Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
