Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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