Already got asked if we're dating
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize