shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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