is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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