So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
