Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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