i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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