I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
