SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
