it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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