You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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